No, is not a bad word.

Boundaries revisited.

Unlike the impala, we humans like to stretch the boundaries ~  a lot!
It takes a great deal of commitment and self control and a great measure of the Holy Spirit for us to stay on the straight and narrow path which leads to life. But God provides Grace in our time of need and in our temptations.

Most who read here with any regularity will know that my thoughts tend to meander when I begin to ponder topics like this :-) I definitely approached the boundaries topic applying to myself but also with the raising of children in mind.

We are told in scripture that a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Likewise the whole of scripture teaches us to love one another, encourage one another, bear with one another's faults. We are not to break the bruised reed or quench the smoking flax. (Isaiah 42:3)

However, scripture also teaches us to admonish one another, to speak the truth in love, to correct the wayward child/ brother. This is one area where I see boundaries being blurred in our day and age and it is affecting the whole of society. These days, no one wants to speak up and say that certain behaviours are wrong, Most of us don't want to seem judgemental or politically incorrect. We are failing to use biblical principles of loving correction, which stem from God himself, instead applying the worldly idea of boosting up the ego.

Children's self esteem and worth needs to be nurtured. As a mother I see daily how important it is to encourage and motivate the child. This begins from birth as we nurture and hold our children close. We need to bless them with praise and patient answers. It is true that little hearts, and bigger ones, can be easily crushed by vile words and negative reinforcement. But some take this to ridiculous ends. My daughter worked in child care and they were trained to never say no to the child. I know children in school who do not have their work marked as wrong for fear of upsetting the child. And I have sadly observed children who manipulate and blackmail parents into supplying their every whim lest the child become unmanageable should they dare to deny them. I cringe when I hear a little neighbour girl tell her mother she hates her, when her will is thwarted.

Now you may think this is good and will build them up ~ but I do not. A responsible parent, for love of the child and for their safety will  teach them early the boundaries in their home. "No, don't touch, that is hot!" will prevent a serious burn. "Stop, don't run on the road!" will prevent an accident, at worst the loss of a life. Thou shalt not....steal, kill, commit adultery, lie, worship idols, all no-nos which insure safety of body and soul.

Just as our Heavenly and all wise God has set us boundaries for our good, so we as parents must set similar boundaries for our children. Now children, born with a sinful nature just like us, will press those boundaries day after day. This training and restraint is for their good as they grow to maturity. It does a great deal towards our sanctification, too, for sure and is a daily ongoing battle at times. Do not be weary in well doing, for in due season you will reap in you faint not! (Galatian 6:9)

We are living in a day when people are reluctant to restrain their children from doing as their hearts desire, but unless the heart is conformed to the will of God then it is the road to destruction. Do we want to stand on that great and terrible day to give account knowing that we did not use the boundaries that God expects for fear of being different, being called legalists, being rejected?

As with many of my Monday posts, the issue is very real to me. I have adult children who do not walk with the Lord. Were we too strict? too lenient? God knows.  I have two youths still at home, pushing the boundary fences every day.  The most important thing is not to give up. To continue to lean of the Lord and seek his wisdom, in my own life and the raising of the family.

Lord, help me to know your Word and accept and practice your boundaries. Give grace to train my children in your ways and not the ways of the world. Help me to do all things to your glory and not for the  approval of men. Forgive me when I grow weary and do not lead by example.

Deuteronomy 6

6And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.