BLOGGING ...and unforseen providences

My heart goes out to the Fisher family who lost their little son last weekend.


The internet is a tangled web.  Some time ago, perhaps two years ? when "Sparkling Adventures" followed my blog I followed hers in return and read there for a short time.  I'm sure other Aussie Home School bloggers also have Lauren among their followers.  I think perhaps we each left one another a comment back then but there was no bloggy friendship between us.  Strangley, although I hadn't read there for some time I had never removed her blog from my reader so would often see the titles of blogs she had posted.  Just a few months ago one of those titles intrigued me and I went reading and ended reading for quite a while.  I could not relate at all to the families' life-style or beliefs on many things but I did love the pictures of their gorgeous children and her creativity and flare was very appealing.  It was alternative but undoubtable interesting!

The tragic drowning of this lady's little son, her husband's arrest and the families' whole story it seems, has made headlines here.  I have felt so much for Lauren that in her grief snippets of her blog and family photographs have been used by the media.  Her blog being quite intimate in places has become a talking point.  It has made me think seriously about my own discretion in this area.  No matter how anonymous we may try to be (and Sparkling Adventures was not trying to be in any way) the fact is our thoughts, words and perhaps at times ill judged comments are out in the public arena.  Yikes!  One tends to forget that when you have a comfy little group of friends but some have felt it in the form of "hate" comments from anonymous readers.

I know when I started my blog I was super cautious.  No real names appear in my blog and I try to protect the identifies of others.  But as time has gone by and I have made some wonderful bloggy friends I have become more open with my thoughts on line.  I have had contact from a couple of people who don't actually follow my blog but worked out who I was, and in one case from the families mentioned even though no names were used.  Hey, Rocky is not a big place and Home Schooling and Christian circles, particularly among the Reformed, are small here in Australia!

I have been left feeling as though I know far too much about this grief stricken family.  Without realising it we make judgements and suppositions from what we read.  Now I am feeling I would not be so affected by this loss if the little fellow's drowning had been just another news item.  And it has affected me deeply.  I have lost a child.  It is one of the most unbelievablely painful experiences a parent can face. Whatever the circumstances, this is a time of mourning for the family.  I think, let them grieve in private.

Wisdom.....get wisdom!  Wisdom is the principle thing.

Two Shall be One

Three years ago I blogged about my broken heartedness over the break up in a marriage of a couple very close to me.  In that time that marriage has been dissolved and the two parties have gone their separate ways, living lives which only overlap because there are children involved.

I also posted about values and the commitment needed to make a lasting, loving and successful marriage here. I was overwhelmed then by the seeming loss of old fashioned (biblical) values in our modern world where every one seems to think it is all about "ME".

During those years my own daughters have had de facto relationships.  One is planning to marry, the other has left a very tense and hurtful situation.  Other couples not so close to us have also parted.  Friends and relatives my own age, brought up with good Christian principles and solid parental examples. What is happening in our world?  The basic unit of society, the family is being steadily, but surely eroded.

The lobby for same sex marriage to become legal is so active that we cannot watch news items or advertisements without abominable images flashed before us.  This generation is being brain washed to think that self and happiness and individual needs are the most important and fulfilling goals to strive for. Putting aside  the biblical detestation of man/man, woman/ woman  sexual relationships , I do not understand why the term marriage, defined in the Westminster Confession of Faith as one man and one woman, is being high jacked.  Call it what you like.....we know it as sin.

Like many families we have our share of relationships and lifestyles which fall out of the pattern of the two parent family.  We don't hate these family members or avoid them, nor do we agree with their life style.  These marriage break ups, painful as they are and usually not the fault of any one person, put us in awkward positions.  How do we now treat the person who is not your relative/ friend before their union.  I have remained close to my sister-in-law and given as much love and encouragement to her and the children as possible under the circumstances .   My brother has a new partner.  She is a lovely woman and brings two children of her own to the relationship.  It's a tangled web!

Every marriage encounters trials, difficulties, strains.  My own has experienced many.  What is the key to holding it together?  Why did so many less couples part in our parents era, despite equally trying  circumstances.  My parents have been married for 61 years.  They have had enormous trials and griefs during that long marriage.  Today they are blessed to share the twilight years in one small room together in mostly contented unison. 

In my wedding vows I said the words "until God shall separate us by death."  That is a serious vow to make. It was sworn before God and before the congregation and has helped to keep my eyes focused when I have been tempted to escape.  Commitment is one huge thing and for Christians, the fact that there are three in our marriages ~ God, our husband and ourselves. 

Forgiveness is the heart of the gospel and should be our heart attitude at all times.  Forgive those small and annoying things and don't let them grow into big issues.

I know there are genuine cases where a marriage has been dissolved.  Our Confession lists adultery and utterly forsaking as valid reasons for divorce.  Other believes hold differing views.  Even in legitimate circumstances if a guilty party is truly repentant the offended one must forgive and then perhaps is able to continue in the marriage also.  This takes a lot of selflessness but by God's grace is possible.

This is all going through my head at present with the very sad and startling news this week of another couple, also fairly close to me, parting ways.  Beautiful young people, seemingly happy, five gorgeous children.  I was so grieved on hearing this I wept.  For the couple, their parents (my sister) and especially the children. I am praying now that God will do a mighty work of reconciliation for these two.  What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

So, if you have one, hug your hubby today and show him you love him.  This is often really difficult to do, I know.  We must try to not let the sun go down on any differences we have.  Our children are counting on us to lead by example.  If professing Christians do not love,  as Christ and the Church, what hope for the world?.

The Little People Who Have Stolen my Heart ♥

Can you believe that this time last year I was in a Brisbane hospital, sad and home sick and missing the birth of my daughter's twins?  Here they are on their first birthday!  My daughter is sane and while missing the first few days of their lives, I now see them every day.  It is amazing to watch them grow and their little personalities blossom.  Thank you Lord for these precious little ones.

 ♥♥

Here are our six delighful grandchildren.  Two three year olds, two year old, two one year olds

 and nine months

♥♥♥♥♥♥

The baby of the bunch is quite a character and already poses for the camera!

♥

The precious little family who live with Mumma and Grandad and make

each day a new adventure.

♥♥♥♥

The bigger children tried to blow out the candles with gusto,

before the twins could get to it!

♥

"Thou shalt see thy children's children"

The vanity of life without God

I've decided that my life must have been super dooper boring about 2-3 years ago!  I look back and see that I posted on my new and exciting blog 5 or 6 times a week.  I remember I used to spend large chunks of time (to which I will not confess the number) reading and surfing around other blogs.  Also, I would day dream up posts as I went about my daily chores! Sounding familiar anyone?

These days life is much more "time consuming" and my head is far too fluffy trying to manage teenagers, their school work and their activities.  Add to that the unusual multi-generational living arrangements that we have and voila! ~ Ruby no longer blogs very often at all!  In fact, Ruby doesn't seem to have a lot of thoughts at all these days! (Oh, dear, I used to be such a day dreamer!)

Our Sunday night sermon was from Ecclesiastes.  Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.  Am I spending my life striving for the vain wisdom of this world and earthly affirmation?  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

An old campaigner like me should know that keeping my eyes on the Lord and immersing myself in his Word defends against luke warmness and apathy.  But I fail.....again, and again and again :-(  And the thing which infuriates me the most about it all is my lack of wisdom.  God has never failed to meet every need I have had.  He has always been faithful to bring resolution to every conflict and a peaceful ending to every trial.

Just writing that has helped me to regain focus :-)

Psalm 42:5

(Metrical version)

O why art thou cast down, my soul?
          why in me so dismay'd?
     Trust God, for I shall praise him yet,
          his count'nance is mine aid.

It is not the busyness of my life, or the beautiful people in it, which causes this empty season but a failure to cling to Christ as I know I should.....I must.

 

Honour your father and your mother

My mum and dad recently moved into a low care hostel  in an aged care facility near by us.  I am so grateful that in their retirement they moved to Rockhampton.  Although the farm holds many precious childhood memories the hub of our family is now in that little unit where our two dear grey and frail parents reside. ♥♥

The three weeks since they moved in there have been very hectic with Mum having a small operation to have a sun cancer removed and Dad ending up in hospital for most of the last week.  It seems their move has been just at the right time and the staff have been wonderful ... to them and to us.  We are rather like an overwhelming bunch of mother hens I fear, but they have been patient with us!

I am the only sibling actually living here in town so a lot of the visiting, running around and chores do fall to me.  God has been very gracious to give me strength over the last couple of weeks. I have one sister living close by who does a lot and cares for all the finacial matters etc for Mum and Dad. Dad is still very sharp in his mind but has gone blind.  I consider it very precious to have had my parents for so long (87 & 82 years of age).  Scripture tells us that we are to honour our father and mother.  I know that mine have not been difficult to honour because they are fine, upstanding people.  I think of that promise ~  that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.  I know that my parents honoured and respected their own parents and have been indeed blessed with long lives.

One of the most difficult areas for me to "honour" my parents has been that of our faith.  I am a Bible believing Christian.  I avow the 5 Solas.  It is Scripture alone for me.  So while I have tried to love and respect them I can not adhere to the many extra Biblical practices that they do. I have complete peace and trust in God that he does all things well and that as judge of all the earth he will do right.  I know that some of my family do not consider me heaven bound because I have walked away from the "one true church".  All I have been able to do is to live a life before God which I pray will show forth my love and trust in my Lord and Saviour.

So many families now are riddled with divorce, remarriages  and de facto relationships that the family tree can sometimes be a very twisted and complicated one.  It must be so difficult to honour parents who have been negligent, abusive or totally absent.  But amazingly God gives grace even for that to those who love him.  I know that in my reckless pre-Christian days I often neglected the good teaching and sensible advise of my parents.  I now know the pain of watching that rebellion  in my own children, but I am also beginning to reap the great joy of a deeper relationship both with my parents and with my own maturing children.  How gracious is God to set the solitary in families.  Thank you Lord.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.