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| He leads me beside the still waters |
One thing was that being uncertain of my readership, those who do not comment, I wanted to be careful what may be coming across as "teaching".
Another thing was that the more I read around the internet, the more I found material with which I disagreed. I try hard not to get embroiled in debates, especially on topics which might be considered straining a gnat. They will know we are Christians by the love we have for one another. I want to be able to fellowship and enjoy all who profess Christ. I did not want my blog to become a place where offences were caused and harsh words were exchanged. I think I've managed that. I do not know whether I am always true to my own heart on some things but if I can't find a something good to comment, then I don't comment at all (Thanks Mum!)
I have also experienced a long and difficult period in my life through which I am still wading. Although I am a battle weary warrior of nearly thirty years experience I have not coped so well with some of the trials which have beset us.
Some one very close and influential let me down badly :- ( How childish and immature I have been about this. I've had lots of disappointments in my life and they have served to show me more clearly that the only faithful and dependable one is God. Man, male and female, will always disappoint, as we ourselves do. I put too much store by what this person said and have felt crushed in the fall out. I feel too drained emotionally and spiritually to share very much here.
The old saying "When mumma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" comes to mind. Have I dropped my bundle to the detriment of my family, my husband, my friends? They would say no, but deep down I know that I have not behaved and lead by example as I might have done in the past.
Time is healing this wound. God is gently showing me my failings. I do not want to loose that ability to reach out and love and trust people, but deep hurt takes a good deal of time to resolve. All of us here have been affected and I especially grieve for my teenage boys who have seen some unpleasantness between adults who profess the Lord. I remember this happening when my girls were in their early teens too and it grieves all the more as I know it to be a factor in their walking away from the Lord. All of my children are covenanted to be the Lord's and I trust that in His time they will search for and trust in Him.
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- God, give me grace to accept with serenity
- the things that cannot be changed,
- Courage to change the things
- which should be changed,
- and the Wisdom to distinguish
- the one from the other.
Reinhold Neibuhr
Our lives become very shallow and meaningless if we turn back from what we know is the straight path. Here in this place a little faithful group of believers meets together in the manner which we believe is honouring to our great God. It is simple but deep. We hold his Word to be precious and his Saints to be dear. As my family and I move forward, we struggle with the changes that have come about in our lives. Hubby and I find it difficult to keep the Lord's Day in the way we used to and sometimes our family worship times are greatly interrupted. Personal time too. I confess, I am often distracted by all the busy-ness of small children, school and family that old routines seem to have gone by. Have I become shallow? We do not want our lives to become just so, so. We long to display our love and loyalty to our Lord and Savior.
The Lord is on my side
I will not fear.
Not Sabbath Thoughts but the random thoughts of a tired heart ♥
I've been there, too. This passage from Isaiah 40 has always spoken to me in those seasons:
ReplyDeleteThe Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
A precious promise to cling to. Thanks Ma
DeleteOh Ruby what a comfort that He knows the way that we take. He planned it in His eternal depth of love for each of His own, to bring us each forth as gold. And when we arrive at the destination, He will have His own prayers answered that we will be eternally be one in Him. That is one of my deepest comforts, for time seems to tear us -- not just as regards our natural ties but even in those bonds we have in His body -- with such wounds and heartaches and disappointments and painful memories, apart. Yet we know nothing can tear us out of His life which He gave for us and which He is living in us, which is the true bond of our union; and ultimately He uses all these things to bind each of us only more surely and steadfastly to Him. What a joy to think that that moment when we see those we have known here in heaven all the old things will have passed away and we will just *run* to greet and be glad in one another! What a hope to hold onto even in the midst of all mutual frailty and pain. Love and prayers, precious friend.
ReplyDeleteYea, we are more than conquerers! Thanks Heidi
DeleteWe often do not have simple answers in our faith and relationships, but love your simple trust and careful, but discreet honesty here.
ReplyDeleteDo not worry about not blogging as much. For everything there is a season as we read in Ecclesiastes 3. Times for war and peace, times to search and times to quit the search.
Know that you are loved very much, girlfriend, even though I have yet to meet you in person.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
I treasure many of my blogging friends nearly as much as my real life ones. In fact, in times like these, I actually have more contact and encouragement from you cyber pals. Life is strange!
DeleteAh Ruby, such profound words & so true! [Yes, I am BACK!!! You may be sorry yet. ☺ ] There are seasons & sometimes the Lord leads us down paths we never expected or envisioned ~ but still HE leads so all is well.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the variety of belief amongst Believers astounds me but then I know God likes variety & diversity. Anyone who makes several thousand different varieties of eucalyptus has gotta like variety,right?! ☺
{{{HUGS}}}
One of the things I have loved about my blogging adventures has been the meeting of so many fellow believers from so many branches of His vine.
DeleteSorry you have been hurt by someone close. That sense of betrayal is so hard to live with.
ReplyDeleteThat Reinhold Neibuhr quote was my Grandma's favourite.
Yes, I have read it in a few slight variations but the sentiment is that same, grace, serenity and wisdom, gifts from out precious savior.
DeleteRuby I am coming to this late as I've had issues with blogger!!! You are a trooper! It's tough when people we look up to and trust let us down but you have a deep faith in God which I admire! yes we are different branches of the Vine but I love you though I've not met you in person:) I always like reading what you have to say so don't stop and don't feel pressured to blog as well, I know I've only blogged about once a month this year lol!
ReplyDelete