Through My Mothers Eyes

A few years before this photograph was taken (1967) my mother suffered a bout of encephalitis which made her dangerously ill and left her with some brain damage, namely memory loss. I was only 12 months old at the time so I do not have recollection of any of this.

My two eldest sisters went to boarding school from 1964 and so it was that mum decided to keep a diary.  That way she had a record of events to base her letters to the boarders on.  What fabulous newsy letters they were!  In my years away at school mum's dependable missives were my life line to the goings on at my beloved and much missed home.

My parents are now on a waiting list to move from their independent living unit in a Retirement Village to hostel care.  It is looking like the move will take place early next year.  They are pottering around and sifting through their belongings which have already been severely pruned moving from the marital home of 50 years, then from their retirement house in town and soon, from their cosy little unit.

Mum's diaries have become legendary!
They began as the jottings of a busy mother of many.  Little reminders on the run of who she had seen, where they had been, births, deaths and marriage. Facts.  From these humble beginnings grew the copious writings of a woman through almost fifty years of  great joys and deep sorrows, loneliness, frustration, exhilaration and every other emotion imaginable.

Mum has been reading through her life - she has little memory of many of the people and events recorded. She asked me if I wanted to read them and perhaps hold on to them for others who may wish to do so.  Therefore, I have become the "Keeper of the Journals".

I had not read right through them.  I have scanned some dates and events but I ran it by the rest of the crew, suggesting I just store these precious books until dear Mum has passed away.  They are a wonderful source of eye witness information and hold the most unbelievable details not only of our own lives but the happenings of our little rural community and of our large extended families. While the early years are short notes made by a busy wife and mother some of the latter years are heartbreakingly detailed and frank.  These are the years of adult and teenage children, bad decisions, boarding school, illnesses,  losing parents and a child.  These are the years where Mum, due to the encephalitis, began to suffer epileptic seizures and eventually handed in her license.  An empty nester with a still hard working husband and no means of getting out from the farm except with others.  A devoted wife, mother and grandmother who sacrificed much and at times was lonely and uncertain but constantly called upon God for his aide.  (And being RC many other celestial beings!) My mother's devotion to her religion and piety is very evident throughout all of her writing and the many quotes and clips included in her diaries.

It is the possible hurts which may be resurrected which lead me to want to protect these documents.  I do not think it is necessary to bring up old wounds which have long been forgotten, among loved ones.  There is so much to rejoice  and reminisce over.  So much love poured out in those pages.  So many little details of long ago events which we may one day appreciate when that little bit of information is required.  When did grandma die?  Who was bitten by a red back spider?  Who almost missed the wedding and why? How did Mum feel about my becoming a christian? About grandchildren? about our choices in life?

Dad has also weeded out his belongings including his farm diaries, some of which he passed on my brother still on the home block.  There was one particular year book which had a lot of empty pages and he suggested I take it and use them up.  The year was 1997, in which Dad was involved in a fatal accident and almost lost his own life.  Very little is recorded from that date onward. However, I flicked to 29 November and the entry read "*Ruby* had a son".

It is amusing to me because it so clearly shows the contrast in my parents.  Mums entry concerning the birth of this son is pages long, detailed, and continues over several days!  It has been at the same time revealing, heartwarming to read these tomes over which our mother poured over for many hours at the dining table of the old house but also heart breaking.  I yearn to have those conversations over again, to have recognised my mother's pain and have told her how much she is loved and admired.

I have never kept a journal for any length of time, saving this blog.  I am pleased now to have this record, which having been read by many unknown "friends" gives a glimpse into our life with all its joys and sorrows without naming and harming people.  I have tried to write a positive blog.  I have tried to convey some of my spiritual thoughts along with very mundane day to day happenings.

When my decendants visit "Mumma's Place" in years to come I hope they will know a little of me.  Since I have blogged quite often about my Mum and Dad, I hope they will discern the great love and affection I have for these two precious people.