 |
| Year 9 Boarders 1976 |
About 35 years ago. I was a boarder at The Range College (Our Lady of Good Council) here in Rockhampton. I'm sure I have mentioned before that this girls only school is now only the girls' boarding section of the co-ed Catholic school. Where our class rooms once stood is now a Retirements Village and in fact my parents lived for five years right about where I went to Science classes way back then. Where the convent stood is now a low care facility for elderly folk. This is where my Mum lives now and shared with Dad for the last twelfth months of his life.
The school photograph above was taken in front of a huge fig tree in the convent garden. From Mum's front balcony you look straight out on this tree. It is a marvellous view, one of the highest in Rocky, partly blocked by the enormous and very old tree. It is beautiful though it does block the view a bit.
As I left from visiting Mum this week waves of grief rolled over me. True, I feel the loss of my Dad much more there in that room where he lived for those last few months and died. But I was also overcome by the great sense of the "circle of life" happening in my family. Dad and Mum were very inter-dependant in the last few years. Dad had gone blind so Mum was the eyes. Mum has no memory, so Dad remembered everything. Although he couldn't see, she would tell him where each thing had been put and then when Mum couldn't remember where she had put it, Dad knew ! Dad could still remember names, dates and places. Mum struggles to recall her own birthday and much in the way of past events.
So now Mum depends on us. Mainly my eldest sister and I. My sister had already been doing all of their bookwork for a number of years and she does everything the way Dad wanted it. Mum can rely on her to pay all the bills and do any transaction or legal stuff.
I am the day to day daughter :-) I visit and drink coffee and pick up bits and pieces that Mum needs. She is quite miserable. She says she is not lonely but she loves visits. They tire her out and she does sleep a lot. She also does not remember conversations and information from one visit to the next but is just contented with her limited life. The other day she wandered a little too far and got herself lost. Fortunately she was still on the property and was rescued by a nurse.
When I left the other day, I thought about how they must have felt driving away and leaving us there at school. I was twelve. I got homesick. I so appreciated visitors and especially treasure another sister who was at uni then, making the effort to visit a lot and bringing goodies (which she could ill afford), Now it's me finding it heart wrenching to drive away. Holding her frail body, I am over come by love and real admiration for this dear woman. Our roles have almost swapped and it seems fitting. She wiped our bottoms ~ and smacked them! She fed and clothed us and sacrificed a lot so that we could all have the necessities of life. It seems the least we can do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the home front
I am enjoying the one-on-one home schooling time with my older son. He is more settled as well and has taken up more of the household chores since his brother has gone to school. I reckon school life is much more taxing than staying at home. In most ways I feel my son has been well prepared for the life outside and we are thrilled and amazed at his good adjustment. Getting up early and having a whole day out of the house and coping with life can be quite exhausting. Sometimes he just crashes when he gets home, other days he is quite demanding and his behaviour upsets everyone anew. His mental health issues have not disappeared but they do seem to have improved. Thank you for all prayers.
The weather here is fabulous! Cool nights, glorious sunny days. Ahhhh.....this is when Central Queensland is at her best!
Circle of life, indeed! You are in the "sandwich" generation for sure.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of dementia has your mother been diagnosed with? Is this the best living arrangement for her? Does she eat well and remember to take her pills? I ask these questions because, as you know, Ruby, my husband has Alzheimer's.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
Mum has had memory loss for years due to encephelitus in her early thirties. She also began to have epileptic seizures about that time. Tests have indicated she doesn't have dementure but the memory loss is worsening. She is very well cared for with all meals provided and her nurses dispense the meds. Other than epilepsy medication, Mum doesn't need any other!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun post about your parents and your memories. I love how you keep so many precious memories close to your heart. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Tricia. As I see my mother's memory disappearing I realise how important it is to have record of family things and events. I am so glad I wrote about my childhood a few years ago because I know my own memory is not so good these days.
ReplyDeleteIt is sometimes heart rending to see our loved ones begin to lose thier facilities as they age. What is most difficult for me was watching how the loss of memory was so upsetting to them. We will keep your family in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteDue to my mother's stroke, my dad can no longer care for her at home (they are both 80), and now dad is home alone and mum is in high care nursing home. The problem with high care is that it's full of dementia patients and when you are fully aware with no dementia it can be very tough. She finds more to talk about to the visitors than the other residents. Dad visits every day and one of my brothers is a great help, but I can't do much from interstate but do try and visit a couple of times a year. It's sad to watch your parents getting old.
ReplyDeleteAh, Ruby, what a lot of changes for your family. Thanks for sharing about coming full circle. My parents are still younger (~70) so we're not facing those issues yet, but I know they're coming. Ruby, you're a encouraging one to look up to as you care for your parents - now your mum - so graciously. What a lovely example to your own kids... (and how you care for them as well!)
ReplyDeleteKeep the faith,
Julie